THE CHECKOUT

The check-out line was long at the supermarket, as it snaked its way back to the cantaloupe section.
“Why did I ever come to this place?" uttered the man to himself under his breath. “I could be sunning myself on the beach, drinking a ‘cool one’ and viewing the femme fatales as they walk by."

A thin veil of optimism crept over him as he suddenly realized there were only 3 people in front of him, until he achieved his “check-out” goal.

This gave him the opportunity to pick-up one of the tabloids. After reading a small segment, he once again said to himself, “That guy must get married to another woman and pick up all his money from the tabloid publishers, cause I never have seen him act.”



The person checking out was fumbling for her checkbook and the clerk was having difficulty locating the total button which added to already long delay.

Finally, this customer had a change of attitude, and became downright ebullient.

His enthusiasm heightened to a point of ecstasy because he was next in line to be checked out and have his purchases finalized.

He had only two items and he wished he had access to a 10 item or less, but the store didn't have such a checkout. -- He rationalized,

“It’s probably best that they don’t have such a line as I would get out of the store much faster, be on my way home and at that time would be in a fatal car accident. Come to think of it, by not having such a line, my life has been spared.”

Arriving at the point where he was face to face with the checkout clerk, “Ugly little kid,” he muttered, under his breath.

The man politely placed the mouse trap and the cheese on the counter.

He was fairly convinced that the sounds that he heard in his apartment in the middle of the night, were those of mice, rather than the moose he initially suspected.

With extreme difficulty, coupled with an almost lethargic response, the clerk rang-up the mouse trap.

Being the curious individual that he was, which was pretty much dictated by his age, the clerk picked up the item for further investigation.

Unfortunately, in the process of selection the man had purposely set the trap, to check its efficiency.

Well anyway, to make a long story short, the clerk, after saying “Uh, this is interesting,” activated the mouse trap on his nose. The young boy cried out as did the man--No, it was more of a grumble from the latter--

The man was not a connoisseur of fine cheeses, and therefore had placed in his cart the first wedge of soft cheese that he came to.

Apparently the shock and small amount of pain this boy encountered with the trap, also caused the boy to ram his thumb in the middle of the cheese.

After calling 911 and the supervisor, the paramedics were able to pry the trap from the boy’s olfactory as well as well as his thumb out of the cheese.

Not only did the event add a welt to the boy's nose and a band-aid to his thumb, it also added greatly to the time delay.

"Hey mister, what about your trap and cheese?"

As the man hastily left for another store he vociferously replied, "In your dreams young man, only in your dreams!!"