Wednesday, September 14, 2011


What would be your reaction be if you had planned to take a business flight to a major city. At the last moment you had chosen to upgrade your accommodations from coach to first class.

You settled into a much more comfortable chair with considerably more “leg room” and found that the person sitting beside you was a famous singer whose name you couldn’t recall?

So far, I bet your reaction would be one of ecstasy, especially if you liked his singing.

There was only one minor problem, he was dead!!

I’ll bet now that reaction just headed south.

You now have the choice between running to the restroom and “tossing your cookies,”  or you could be the first to call for immediate assistance and administer CPR.

You might find that by choosing the latter path you would save the life of a very talented individual.

You also would eliminate the possibility of getting your foot caught in the commode, which is quite easy to do in an airplane restroom, especially if you are performing two functions.

The airline company places in the commode a disinfectant, which is understandable.

This disinfectant acts as a dye.

Many a time after using the airplane restroom I have returned to my seat with a blue pants leg and my suit is gray.

Returning to the guy who appeared dead, he appeared moribund, but he was really just fast asleep.

Needless to say, he was most unappreciative of my administration of CPR.

After I had explained to him my mistake and that I thought he was the greatest singing talent in the world, he seemed to calm down a little.

He also exhibited another new-borne trait. For the rest of the flight he would no longer sit beside me.

And that’s a shame in a way, because I have a daughter who wants to be a singer, and I consequently had several questions to ask him.

Oh well, that’s life.

Now there is an empty seat in first class, because of his transferring to the coach section.

The stewardess offered it to anyone in that section at no extra cost, but for some reason everyone exhibits an apprehension to sit in the seat next to me.

So I am now seated next to an empty seat.

As I have embarked on this flight for business purposes, it is imperative that I appear busy because you never know who’s looking.

I remove my lap top from its case only to discover a mouse ( a real one!) inside.

The mouse jumps into the aisle and scampers toward the rear of the plane bringing fear to those females sitting toward the rear of the plane, then it reverses direction toward the cockpit.

On this flight we have a female pilot.

Somehow the little mouse works its way under the cabin door. I shortly hear a scream from the female pilot and witness a an airplane that has veered tremendously from its course.

The little mouse reverses direction again, and heads for the rear of the plane.

In this process that mouse frightens all of the female attendants and passengers ( some of whom are already “scared half out of their wits” from his previous scamper).

Now I am the subject of scorn of both genders.

Immediately, I remember the exploits of D. B. Cooper. Maybe I’ll be lucky and be found when I parachute into the wilderness.

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