Tuesday, November 22, 2011



I feel an immediate tap on my right shoulder the moment the traffic light changes.

In fact the tap is so fast that it is a severe test of my reflexes, which in general are on the slow side. These reflexes could disseminate to the point that they control my entire body. This would cause me to be placed in the category of very slow, which I am.

In fact, I am so slow that I emulate the tortoise in that famous tortoise and hare fable which automatically places me in the winner’s circle, 'cause you know who that race!

I have a wife and two daughters who have said their prayers for me tonight.

Not to invade their privacy, but I heard them the other night, and their prayer goes something like this, “Now I lay me down to sleep, (whatever comes next, and whatever comes after that),” with the finale being “and please let Dad at least place in this race before he enters La-la land.”

These three are very proud of committing that prayer to memory at their ages.

And I am very proud for them.

Their respective ages are 70, 49 and 46.

Next week we begin working on the 1st Psalm, which contains several more words. Nonetheless, the three have promised me that they will commit those ---------at this point I feel the compulsion to level with you.

Not being a Biblical scholar, I don’t have a clue what 1st Psalm is. Therefore I don’t know whether it contains more or less words. Nonetheless, the girls are going to try another prayer next week because they are tiring of the old. Prayers around our house don’t remain in the same place very long as they apparently share much in common with the living room couch.

---“Wait just a minute, you ask, you were receiving a tap on the shoulder at a traffic light and now your on a couch. I am completely lost”---

---I am so sorry about that, as my thought pattern was also apparently lost---

---“I assume that the traffic light and the tap was your main thought.

This being the case, who was driving?”---

---A question like that comes very close to insulting me, as if I were I not driving and sitting in the front passenger seat, a tap on my right shoulder from the driver, my wife, would insinuate that I am married to an Orangutan!---

---Had I married an Orangutan, that would indicate either very poor choice on my part or very poor vision

However, as it is my wife who we are talking about, the tap on my shoulder is an indication from her, that it is lawful for us to proceed.

And never, no never, question if it is O.K. for you to move upon receiving “the tap.”

---Wait a minute!! You can’t question whether it is safe or defensive?---

-Absolutely not, if you want to continue maintaining a right shoulder!!-

Generally, my wife and I are together in the car traveling to one of those jovial destinations, but I remember once I was traveling alone.

A potentially serious accident was prevented by not having my wife in the car at the time.

The trip I was making involved mailing a letter. On the way to the mailbox, there was a four way stop.

I had the right of way over an opposing car, and would have received “the tap” on my right shoulder if my wife had been along.

But, the guy in the opposing car decided not even to stop, and after that, ran two more stop signs, that were very close to the intersection. (Apparently he had abused a few too many substances.)

Once again, I digress from the subject matter, but anyway I can virtually guarantee you that had my wife been present with her “shoulder tap,” there would have been a pile of cars at that intersection. So that night, by virtue of the fact that there is an April 11, someone’s life may have been saved.

Really the date April 11 doesn’t have any significance.

But, my birthday falling on April 11, does.


P.S. I can easily see that many of you are awaiting an end to this article so that you can rush to the store a buy me a birthday present.

Unfortunately, I have moved from my former residence. But, on an upscale note, I have tried to cover all of the “bases”.

I have left a forwarding address.

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